


Maybe Ours

by Waywardwiz



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Fluff, Love, M/M, MY BABIES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:09:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardwiz/pseuds/Waywardwiz
Summary: This is purely self-indulgent fluff. A long piece of sexy fluff with a lot of "other stuff" because I always end up exploring their relationship instead of staying on track. That's what happens when you don't plan a story before hand. Bear with me!Ted makes a surprise discovery about himself and Barney is completely cool with helping him explore it. There is also salmon and love involved. Mostly the latter."The first time Barney calls Ted by his full name, Ted pops a boner. At that time it’s highly inconvenient, because he is at work and sporting an erection is not really proper office attire. They have been talking on the phone, Ted sitting by his desk and Barney cruising through the aisles of a grocery store, shopping for their dinner, when Barney asks, sounding slightly distracted, “So hey, Theodore, I’m feeling salmon. What’d you think?”Ted is about to reply that he could be feeling salmon, too, but then what Barney said registers in his mind, one particular word resonating like a bell ringing, echoing and heart-achingly sweet, and something shifts.He sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, feeling heat rushing to his face. "





	Maybe Ours

**Maybe Ours**

 

The first time Barney calls Ted by his full name, Ted pops a boner. At that time it’s highly inconvenient, because he is at work and sporting an erection is not really proper office attire. They have been talking on the phone, Ted sitting by his desk and Barney cruising through the aisles of a grocery store, shopping for their dinner, when Barney asks, sounding slightly distracted, “So hey, Theodore, I’m feeling salmon. What’d you think?”  
Ted is about to reply that he could be feeling salmon, too, but then what Barney said registers in his mind, one particular word resonating like a bell ringing, echoing and heart-achingly sweet, and something _shifts_.  
He sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, feeling heat rushing to his face. He quickly bites the inside of his cheek to keep in the small sound of distress that threatens to surface, and curses under his breath when he, to his own mortification, starts straining against the inside of his jeans, cock stirring with interest. What is going _on_? Barney didn’t even say his name in a sensual manner. It’s the complete opposite; he used Ted’s name like was it the most natural thing in the world. Maybe that’s what does it for him – the knowledge that Barney is so entirely comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to call him Theodore un-ironically. It sounds weird. But it also sounds so right, and that’s just confusing.

“Ted?” Barney says when he doesn’t receive an answer, “you there?”  
When Ted replies he sounds slightly winded, and he has the heel of his hand pressed against the indiscreet bulge in his pants, “Yeah, yes, I’m here. Salmon, yeah, that’s cool. Yeah”  
“You okay?”   
Ted can almost see Barney’s frown conveying through the phone line. A smile slips across his face, the adoration he feels for his boyfriend enough to momentarily distract him from the arousal thrumming through his system.  
“Yeah, of course I am” he says, laughing nervously, the assurance a little strained in its’ delivery, “why wouldn’t I be?”  
“You sound strange. If it’s about the food, I can get us something else. Or order take away”  
Ted leans forward in his chair, scooting closer to his desk in an attempt to cover himself and his – ahem – condition from prying eyes – or, you know, his poor colleagues who haven’t asked to see what Little Ted looks like when he is standing at attention.

Ted shakes his head, then realizes that Barney can’t see his face, and says, “No, don’t worry about it. I love it when you cook”  
He hears Barney hum, a pleased little sound, at the praise. Barney is an excellent cook; Ted discovered this particular skill of his by coincidence. They had been snowed in at Ted’s for two days, and Ted was starting to worry that they might expire from starvation, when Barney abruptly stood from the couch and strode into the kitchen. At first Ted had thought he left to get away from his yammering, but when the minutes stretched out and Barney didn’t come back Ted became curious. That was when Ted found him, pristine white shirt protectively tugged away behind Marshall’s “kiss the cook” apron, concocting something magical on the stove, with a smell so heavenly it could have made angels burst into song. That was when Ted felt his heart swell, like, four sizes; when he said Barney’s name and Barney turned around, face open and soft, mouth going slack when kissed, eyes slipping shut when Ted told him he loved him, for the first time. Ted has long since made a point out of telling Barney every day that he loves him. It’s a fundamental truth, and he realized it a little late in the game, but better late than never.

“See you later, sweetheart” Barney says, and Ted hears the sound of him dropping something into the cart.  
He smiles at the endearment – which doesn’t send him into a weird fit of passion, by the way – and says, “I’ll try to be home by six. Love you”  
“Love you”  
It’s a nice little ritual, and it never gets old. Ted could spend every minute of every day making Barney feel loved. He will. Hanging up, he checks the time on his wrist watch. A quarter past five. Good, that gives him plenty of time to think thoughts that are hopefully unsexy enough to allow him to leave this chair. Or, if that doesn’t work, he will just have to live here, and Barney can bring him delicious homemade meals and they can have sex on his drafting table and, _oh_ , this is going to take a while.

Ted steps through the door at half past six. He somehow managed to calm down (barely) and stop imagining a scenario where he is blowing Barney while the blonde whimpers and calls him by his Christian name. But when he finally left work there wasn’t a cap to be found, and so he walked all the way home. He thinks of Barney’s apartment as home, though he doesn’t live there – not officially, anyway. Over the last few months he has noticed this interesting phenomenon which basically boils down to the fact that wherever Barney is, is home. Barney is home. And on that note -   
“Hey Barnacle, I’m home. Sorry I’m late, I couldn’t hail a cap”.  
He shuts the door behind him and hangs his coat, turning back just in time to see Barney leaving the bedroom, fresh from the shower, if the strands of hair clinging wetly to his forehead is anything to go by. He has traded his suit for a pair of jeans which wrap themselves snugly around every inch of his lower body, accentuating _everything_ , and a black t-shirt with a faded ACDC print. Barney doesn’t own anything that could be categorized as “worn”, so it must be Ted’s. It looks good on him. Ted is a little wider in the shoulders, so the fabric hangs a bit loose on Barney, and it’s absolutely adorable. Combining that level of cuteness with the absurd attractiveness the jeans provide, Ted’s body has no idea how to react.

He breathes in, picking up a slight fragrance of lavender from Barney’s skin. He wants to hold him close and press his nose to the blonde’s collarbone, inhale the sweet fragrance of bodywash and Barney’s natural scent all mingled together. He wants to curl around him on the couch and listen to him talk about his day. He wants to fuck him into the cushions. Ted wants a lot of things. His carefully controlled state of calm is slipping just by looking at his boyfriend; he should get a goddamn medal for not jumping Barney and tearing his clothes off right on the spot. He is wearing his glasses, for _God’s sake_. Barney is blind as a bat and no one knows but Ted (another fact he stumbled upon by chance – Barney would probably have been happy with keeping it a secret for all eternity). He uses contacts when around people, but at home he prefers glasses. Ted likes Barney in those glasses; they make him look more innocent, sort of like a young, hopeful and bright professor-type person. The only thing missing from that picture is a five o’clock shadow, a cup of coffee and something philosophical written by Plato (or whoever) in a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.   
“It’s fine” Barney says lightly as he puts on oven mitts, totally oblivious to the stare Ted is levelling him with, “the food is only just done, so you actually timed it perfectly”

He looks at Ted and smiles, wide and completely unguarded, and Ted feels like his skeleton might just disintegrate and make him melt onto the floor in a messy pool of love. He’s got it bad. Ditching his bag by the door he closes the distance between the two of them and grabs Barney by the arms, gently beckoning him closer. He is taller by a few inches, so Barney has to tilt his head back to kiss him properly. Ted parts his lips and then it’s a soft, lazy slide of tongues and lips. One of Barney’s hands is on Ted’s cheek, the other wrapped around his neck, which would be sensual if not for the red, cartoonishly big mittens. With them on it feels more like Barney has clumsy bear paws that are patting Ted down. He laughs into Barney’s mouth, and Barney’s smile widens and he catches Ted’s giggles between their lips so that they come out stuttered and breathy.

After a few minutes Ted comes up for air. He leans back a bit, though he keeps his arms draped loosely around Barney’s waist, encircling him and keeping him in place.   
He says, gently blowing a lock of hair out of Barney’s eyes, “you are beautiful, you know that?”  
Once upon a time, when they started dating, Ted would have blushed like mad saying things like that. Now he can’t get enough, and what used to bring him intense embarrassment feels as natural as breathing. Barney smiles, a pleasant flush creeping into the back of his neck, “you too, Teddy”  
“Dude, don’t try to make this about me” Ted says, “You’re fucking gorgeous”. He is on a roll now, feeling warm and happy and just so ridiculously content, the words falling with no filter whatsoever. The desire in him has stilled itself to a measured, steady burn in his blood, a flicker of candlelight, ready to be stoked into something more ardent, but not at the forefront of his mind any longer.

“It’s the glasses, isn’t it?” Barney asks, a teasing lilt to his voice, “I need them for seeing”. He knows what they do for Ted and exploits said knowledge mercilessly.   
“That’s hot” Ted murmurs with a grin, flicking at the black rim of said glasses with his forefinger.   
Barney snorts, a ridiculous and wonderful sound, “They’re prescription. I’m not allowed to drive cars without them”  
“That’s even hotter. You, operating heavy machinery in only your glasses”  
He puts his mouth to Barney’s neck and starts placing sweet little licks and bites against smooth skin, framing Barney’s face with his fingers. Barney’s breath hitches and he closes his eyes, giving himself over to the sensation.  
”When people say ”heavy machinery” I always think of forklifts”  
“That works, too”  
“God, you’re so weird” Barney says, only halfway present, too far gone in the attention Ted is lavishing him with with his hands and mouth.

After a little while Ted pecks Barney on the sloped curve of his cheekbone, then lets his hands drop to his side and takes a step back. Barney sways towards him for a second, seeking out his touch, then rights himself. He goes to the oven, hips swaying a bit more than strictly necessary – two medals and a trophy, Ted should get two medals and a trophy – bends over (two trophies, maybe) and carefully takes out the salmon. The smell is heavenly as it reaches Ted’s nostrils and his mouth waters a little.  
“Get the pasta?” Barney asks, and Ted nods and complies. He then sets the table and pours them a pitcher of water, talking about the building his firm is working on while doing so, thoughts of sex held at bay as they slip into a comfortable routine.  The fact that they even have a routine sometimes blows Ted’s mind. The word screams domesticated, and a year ago (they have been dating for twelve months – go Team!) he would have never imagined that Barney and him might end up here. Eating salmon. Which is delicious, bee tee dubs. To be honest he had been sceptical as to how this – a relationship – would work out between them. Barney is easily distracted and Ted is such a big believer in faith and The One that he is disillusioned quickly at the slightest flaw in a potential partner. But it worked out, and for some reason it was so, so easy to just… Fall in love. It might have helped that he was a little (a lot) in love long before they became a thing. He just hadn’t known what to call it back then.

“You like it?” Barney asks, calling Ted out of his memories. His smile is soft and a little uncertain.  Barney is insecure about a lot of things in his life. It doesn’t show, what with the boisterous and slightly arrogant persona he puts up, but he worries constantly that he isn’t good enough, that people will get tired of him because he isn’t perfect.  He demands perfection – not from others, but from himself. He has to be great at everything and is so unbelievably hard on himself when he doesn’t always succeed. Ted hates this destructiveness, this self-loathing. If he could take it away, and give Barney peace of mind, he would. But it is so ingrained in his personality that it would be near impossible. So Ted takes it one step at a time. He soothes Barney’s anxieties and assures him that he is okay. He helps him when he is spiralling and kisses him when he needs to be kissed, holds him when he needs to be held. He compliments his amazing salmon.

“It’s great” he says, and chews loud and grossly for good measure, “so great, you should make this every night always. I don’t know why I even bother eating out”.   
Barney’s nose wrinkles in disgust but there is laughter in his eyes and gratefulness in the curve of his smile.   
He says, twirling spaghetti around his fork and raising an eyebrow suggestively, “well, I for one would be disappointed if you stopped eating out”  
The double entendre is not lost on Ted _at all_ , and he almost chokes on his broccoli.   
“I have no idea what you’re talking about” he wheezes, and his chest feels light and full of feathers at Barney’s laugh, the way his eyes sparkle. Barney has the best eyes, and the best smile, the best everything. There is no comparison.   
“I think you do. I have a question, by the way”

Ted waits for Barney to finish swallowing his mouthful. God, everything sounds wrong in his head now. He thinks he knows what his is about, and his treacherous face is already starting to heat up.  
“Yeah?”  
“When we were speaking on the phone – “  
“Nothing”  
“What?”  
“You’re going to say that I was being weird and I’m saying it’s nothing “  
“You _were_ being weird” Barney insists, pointing at Ted with his knife, “you said “yeah” three times in a single sentence – which is just slobby syntax – and then some more after that. Plus you sounded like someone had a gun to your genitals”  
_Well, sort of.  
_ “OkaysoImighthavegottenkindaturnedonwhenyoucalledmeTheodore” Ted says in a rush, words melting together into something barely recognizable. His ears are the colour of a forest fire.

Barney’s eyebrows shoot all the way into his hairline – almost literally – in surprise, “you what?”  
“Don’t make me say it again” Ted pleads, completely mortified.   
“But…” Barney tilts his head slightly, “I’ve called you Theodore before. Not a lot, but still – “   
He gestures in the general direction of Ted’s crotch, and Ted is suddenly glad that his lower half is covered firmly by the table, because there is a chance that there might soon be a situation brewing down there.   
“I don’t know what it is” he says helplessly. There is no way in hell he is telling Barney that he got turned on because Barney just… said his name.

“So…” Barney says, and leans forward on his elbow, a wide smile curling his lips as he winks seductively at Ted, “Theodore”.  
Ted reaches out to smack him lightly and Barney hurries out of reach, “it doesn’t work like that, stop teasing”. He rolls his eyes and rises, starting to clean up the remnants of their dinner, dropping the dishes in the sink. He hears Barney’s soft chuckle behind him, the scrape of the chair legs against the floor, and then his boyfriend is pressing against him, joining the two of them back to chest. He is so close that Ted can feel heat rolling off him. He sighs, tilting his head back so it lands on Barney’s shoulder with a soft thump as he leans against the counter with his hand on the marble. Strong arms wrap around his middle, and they fit together so effortlessly, him and Barney, it’s like they were made for this kind of closeness. Barney’s breath tickles Ted’s ear, warm and easy, as he exhales against the sensitive spot behind the shell of it. He nipples lightly at his earlobe, sending a thrill of something intoxicating and lovely down Ted’s neck and back, arousal suddenly a keen thrum in his veins.   
“Barney…”  
“Shh” Barney hushes him, changing the position of his hold on Ted so that his left hand is resting on Ted’s right hip. His fingers sneak beneath the hem of Ted’s shirt, and though his touches are fleeting and light against the skin below Ted’s ribcage, the other man feels it like an electric current, like a brand, a mark, like belonging…

Barney places a line of sweet, quick kisses at Ted’s hairline, his hand tightening its’ grip, then murmurs, “Allow me to try again, then”  
“Yeah” Ted says, voice thin and strung-out, “Yeah, okay”  
_Jesus_ , what is going _on_?  
“Theodore, Theo, babe, like that?” Barney’s words are a purr that reverberates inside Ted, low and intimate, an echo of something divine, and God, _Theo_ is even worse. Or better. Depends on whether or not reducing Ted to a needy jumble is what Barney is aiming for. It probably is. Okay, it totally is. And if Ted had any doubt as to the purpose of Barney’s whispering and – oh God – touching, it is firmly eradicated by Barney’s fingers dipping into his underwear, leaving a tantalizing trail from his hip to just above his – yeah. Ted lets out a stuttering breath, and then a little whimper of protest when Barney draws his hand back. It returns soon enough, though, when Barney starts unfastening the button of Ted’s jeans with swift, practiced movements, before putting his hand on him with no preamble whatsoever. Ted makes a loud, weird sound, a cross between a moan and a sob, and thrust back against Barney, eliciting a surprised little groan from his boyfriend. Barney squeezes him firmly in return and Ted all but whines through clenched teeth as he clutches at the table, knuckles turning white with strain, “take me to bed”.

Barney asks into his ear, his voice alive with laughter, “You’ll do anything to get out of washing the dishes, huh?”  
“Fuck, God – “ Ted gasps as the blonde gives his erection an experimental tug, a little on the rough side but so, so wonderful, and he growls in frustration, “I’ll wash every dish in the damn country if you just fucking _do_ _me already_ ”.   
Ted rambles, words falling insensibly in time with Barney’s movements, “I’ll wash your dishes, I’ll clean your apartment, I’ll water the plants“  
His voice tapers out into a breathy whimper when Barney peels away the fabric of his shirt with his free hand and bites down on the crook between Ted’s neck and shoulder none too gently. He hums against his skin, a tickling melody that sends quicksilver-shivers down Ted’s spine.  
Ted turns around and flings his arms around Barney’s shoulders (almost hitting him in the face in the process), before dragging him by the front of his t-shirt into a fierce kiss. He digs his teeth into a plum upper lip, smiling when Barney’s breath falters around his name.   
“I’ll make pancakes every day”  
“Ah – you horny charmer, you” Barney grins and drives forward, aligning them at the hips. He kisses Ted’s neck, cheeks and jaw. He is hard and insistent against Ted’s thigh, and Ted is high on the intoxicating sensation, the knowledge that _he_ does this to Barney. Barney, his Barney.

Barney crowds Ted against the table, a solid and delicious weight against him, and finds his lips again. He growls low in his throat. Ted’s mouth feels dry, and he needs, he _needs_. He lets himself be steered onto the counter, the muscles in Barney’s arms bunching with strain as he lifts him. The marble is cold through the fabric of Ted’s pants, and he exhales shakily as Barney presses his lips to the upmost part of his clavicle, using his tongue to trace lines into Ted’s skin with an almost surgical precision. Letters, it dawns on Ted, he is spelling out words, up and down Ted’s shoulder. It’s slow and meticulous and lazy, like he has all the time in the world, like Ted isn’t falling to pieces beneath his hands and mouth, losing all capacity for consistent thought.

Ted groans and tilts his head back in submission when Barney reaches the line of his throat. He says, forcing his voice to sound casual, entirely unaffected, “whatcha writing there, babe?”  
“Hmm…” Barney muses, and Ted can feel the curve of a smile against his skin, “love letters”  
“You’re despicable and cheesy, you know that?”  
“You love me anyway” Barney says with one hundred percent certainty, as he softly bites into the space just below Ted’s left ear. Something sweet flutters in Ted’s chest. He carefully takes Barney’s face between his hands and kisses him. His touch is gentle, because their love is a gentle thing and his lover is a gentle man.   
“I do, I love you. So much”  
Barney draws in a stuttering breath, and the expression on his face is everything. He looks raw, and vulnerable, almost desperate.   
Nearly inaudible he says, “Say it again”  
“I love you”  
“Again” Barney demands.   
“I love you”  
“Ted - ”  
“Say my name”   
“Theodore” the blonde breathes against Ted’s mouth, his lips shaping Ted’s name with utmost care, reverently, like a prayer, and Ted knows that they won’t make it to the bed. Barney’s lips are tender against his clavicle, his teeth nipping carefully and his tongue soothing the marks. Ted inhales sharply, which Barney takes as endorsement for him to continue his ministrations. They kiss for a long moment. Ted’s entire world centres on that little point of contact between them. Everything else falls away and the only thing left is Barney; standing between Ted’s legs, blonde hair sticking every which way around Ted’s fingers and gaze soft with adoration.

His hands tighten their grip on Ted’s hips for a moment before slipping down to the uppermost part of his thighs, a perfect pressure. His thumbs are tantalizingly close to the open fly of Ted’s pants, and it would be _so easy_ for Ted to just take Barney’s hands and direct them to where he wants them – where they need to be. But he doesn’t, because Barney looks at him with his gorgeous eyes, pupils dilated with arousal to a point where his irises have been completely swallowed by pools of black, his lips slightly parted, and Ted wants him to decide when to touch him. He wants to do what Barney wants. God, fuck, he loves this guy.   
Barney seems to notice the way Ted’s hands hover indecisively above his own, close, but not touching, and he murmurs into Ted’s ear: “What do you want, Ted?”  
A shiver runs down Ted’s spine, caused by the seductive lilt to Barney’s voice, and words wither on his tongue for a moment. Barney leans back to look at him properly, and somehow that grants the moment a whole new kind of intensity, for Ted to know that he has Barney’s undivided attention, that Barney’s eyes are on him.   
“What do you want?” he repeats, stroking Ted’s cheek with the hand that isn’t inching closer to Ted’s crotch.   
“I – “ Ted swallows with some difficulty, throat dry, “blow me?”

He spreads his legs further apart, and Barney is somehow suddenly closer than before. One of his hands is trapped between they stomachs, the other lightly resting against Ted’s lower back. He kisses Ted, lips moving together in delicious friction, before whispering into his mouth, “yes, yes, of course”. He embraces Ted with one arm, nothing sexual, just pure affection, and then steps back, putting some distance between them. He reaches for Ted, palm facing upward, beckoning. Ted takes the outstretched hand and links Barney’s finger with his own. He hops down from the counter, and Barney gives him a kiss to end all kisses before falling to his knees. Without letting go of Ted’s hand he manages to wrestle his boyfriend’s pants and boxer-briefs over his hips and down his legs. The fabric pools around Ted’s ankles and Ted can’t kick them out of the way fast enough. He stumbles, cursing, but rights himself in the last second.

He gazes down only to see Barney looking up at him, amusement tilting the corners of his mouth and eyes bright with affection.   
“Very sexy, Teddy” he says.  
Ted shoves him half-heartedly, a laugh building in his chest, and when he lets it out Barney squeezes his hand. Ted smiles.   
“I know” he replies haughtily, “I’m an Adonis. Paris. King David”  
“King David?” Barney asks, and Ted almost can’t speak, distracted as he is by Barney’s warm breath fanning over his cock, which is stirring with interest at the prospect of being touched.  
“Old Testament. King of Israel”  
“Was King David particularly handsome?”  
Ted bites his lip to refrain from whimpering. Barney’s fingers are wrapped around his erection, and he is pumping Ted’s cock slowly. His eyes are still fixed on the other man, though, like there is nothing more interesting than hearing Ted describe Bible stuff.   
“I don’t know, I watched a documentary” Ted recalls, then intelligently adds, “his statues were hot”  
This makes Barney bend over so that his forehead is resting against Ted’s hip, shoulders shaking with laughter, and Ted chuckles, too. He feels Barney’s giggles vibrating pleasantly against his skin. Every part of him is alight with desire, though, so he would really like to get on with this. “Barney…” he says with a renewed sense of urgency, “please”.  
“Far be it from me to abstain from blowing someone as attractive as his majesty David” Barney says, and then he swiftly takes Ted into his mouth with no warning whatsoever. Ted almost doubles over in surprise, every nerve-ending in his body spiking with pleasure, and moans, a long sound torn from deep in his throat. He twines his fingers with the soft strands of Barney’s hair to have something to hold onto, but only lightly, letting Barney set his own pace. Besides, it doesn’t matter how the practicalities of this are going down; Ted is in heaven no matter what.

Barney covers as much of Ted’s dick as possible with his mouth, and the base of it with the hand not holding Ted’s. He tries to bypass his gag-reflex (Barney has been practicing deep-throating as of late – a project Ted fully endorses), coughing a little in the process, but then follows through. And it’s good, so good. When Ted feels the tip of his length touching the roof of Barney’s mouth he has to close his eyes against the pleasure and the beautiful picture Barney makes at his feet – hair sticking to his skin with sweat, skin flushed, mouth wrapped snugly around Ted, lips red and glistening, looking like they were made to please … He could come just from watching Barney going down on him.  
He gasps, and says, voice hoarse, “you… You’ve gotten quite good at that”  
Barney’s throat contracts around him as he laughs at Ted’s flustered state. Unfortunately this causes him to forget that he is supposed to be breathing through his nose rather than his mouth, leading to him gagging. He falls back on his heels, gasping for air that he almost swallows wrong in his haste to fill his abused lungs.   
Ted’s eyes widen in surprise and he quickly scoops down so that he is level with Barney. His hands roam over Barney a little frantically, before he settles for pounding him a few times between his shoulder blades. That’s what you do to people who are choking, right?

It only takes a minute or so for Barney to be able to breathe again, and when he has stopped wheezing Ted asks, “You okay?”   
Barney’s cheeks are red and his nose is scrunched in a frown, “I’m fine. Embarrassed, mostly”. The words he forces out are a little raw at the edges. It sounds painful.  
“We don’t have to do this” Ted assures him, “I’ll clean up, you find a movie – “  
“No, I want to try it again” Barney insists stubbornly.  
Ted is just about to say that there is no sense in continuing, but when he looks down he sees that he is still hard. Clearly his dick didn’t get the memo that being a choking hazard isn’t sexy.  
He brushes his thumb against Barney’s brow, a carefully and tender little touch, “alright. Slower this time, okay?”  
Barney nods, then looks into Ted’s eyes so intently that the latter almost grows nervous, “you can’t make me laugh, though”  
Ted raises an eyebrow as he rises to his feet again, “I can’t help it that I’m a miracle of comedy”  
“miracle of stupidity, more likely”  
“you’re mean when you’re almost dying” Ted points out.  
“And you are giving yourself way more credit than you should”   
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“That your dick isn’t big enough to warrant the use of the word ‘dying’” Barney says, eyes sparkling.   
“How dare – Oh fuck, you -” Ted whines, words narrowing into a moan when Barney puts his mouth back on him and starts sucking with vigour. Barney gives wonderful head, even if deep-throating isn’t his strongest suit (yet). He licks a long stripe on the underside of Ted’s cock, making a sinful noise as he does so - like he is enjoying this even more than Ted is. His eyes are locked on his friend with the intensity of a thousand suns (Ted’s poetry skills are wasted on architecture), and his hand is working him steadily, with a single-minded determination that somehow is a turn-on on its’ own. Soon Barney’s skilful tongue and warm lips, along with the practiced flicks of his wrist, start to wear on Ted’s self-control, and he wounds his fingers into Barney’s hair and gently, but insistently, urges him to go faster. Barney does so promptly, his eyes slipping shut as he ups his effort. The scrape of his tongue and the velvet feeling of the inside of his cheeks make for a new kind of paradise.

Barney’s free hand has been resting lightly on Ted’s hip, but now his hold tightens, fingers flexing along with the rhythm of his hand around the length of Ted’s cock.  He is close, so close, and Barney looks wonderful crouched in front of him, and it’s all too much.   
Insensible love notes starting to fall from his lips in a litany, “Barney, babe, please! Just, please, I need to come, I need you”.   
“Then come” Barney murmurs. His teeth are grazing against sensitive skin.  
Pleasure overwhelms Ted and carries him along, and he moans brokenly, forming Barney’s name between his lips, a warning, seconds before he comes into Barney’s perfect mouth. Barney lets go of him just in time for his face and chest to be covered in Ted’s spend, painting the front of his t-shirt with messy stripes, and Ted groans at the sight. Barney looks utterly wrecked, a vision of beauty that burns itself permanently unto Ted’s retinas. The blonde raises a tentative hand to slide across his cheek, removing some of Ted’s come from the skin. He then licks his fingers with small, kittenish swipes of his tongue. Ted could die happy right now.   
“That was so good, Barney, please - Barney”  
He doesn’t know what it is that he is begging for, but he knows that he needs something. He needs to touch and taste and mark, to make Barney feels as good as he does.   


“Come here” he says, hauling Barney up by his arms, “let me – “  
He moves to kiss Barney, but Barney turn his head at the last moment so that Ted’s lips land on his cheeks instead. His forehead creases in confusion, until he feels a subtle pressure of fingertips against his mouth.  
“Is this okay?” Barney asks, breath soft and heady against Ted’s jaw.  
Ted nods eagerly.   
His heart does that weird metaphorical flutter-thing in his chest and a ragged moan rings out between them, a needy and deprived little thing that it takes Ted a few seconds to recognize as his own. His lips open around the intruding digit and a tangy, sticky substance floods his senses. He starts lapping at his own come, cleaning Barney’s long finger, which is soon to be joined by a second and a third. Ted’s mouth is stopped full of fingers and come, and he whimpers, voice coming out garbled, “Barney – “  
“You talk too much, Ted” Barney admonishes, words soft and happy, “my turn”  
He removes his fingers from Ted’s mouth, a thread of saliva a filthy line connection them before it bursts.  
“Take off your shirt” Barney orders.  
Ted nods and does what he is told. Then he is naked and vulnerable before a fully clothed Barney. The air is cold against his sensitive body.   
Barney looks at him for a few seconds, his eyes dark, before he orders, voice smooth as silk, “turn around. Hands on the counter”.

Ted complies so quickly that he almost loses his balance – again – and the next moment he is clutching at the counter top, knuckles whitening from the strain. He whines desperately, but doesn’t say another word because he was told not to.   
Barney’s hands splay on Ted’s hips, fingers spread wide, and he leans in and bites Ted’s shoulder, claiming him. Then one of his hands strays from its’ position, tracking a soft trail from Ted’s middle to his tailbone, then further down. He follows the same path with his tongue, and Ted shivers beneath him as his cheeks are parted and Barney’s tongue flicks over his entrance. Ted is just about to tell him to just, fuck, _do something_ when every articulate thought is blown straight out of his head as Barney flattens his tongue against the flesh of his quivering hole. Ted’s hips stutter and push back against that eager mouth, and his head drops down so that his forehead is almost touching the counter. His moans fill the quiet and his finger grapple for purchase, and Barney continues to work him open with great determination, every soft stroke and quick jab sending Ted further and further into a state of mind-numbing bliss. His cock hangs heavy and aching between his thighs.

Barney starts tracing letters again, though this time someplace much more delicate – Ted knows because he can feel a series of distinct little movements against him that almost send him spiralling. Suddenly Barney stops teasing him, apparently having decided to drop any pretence of taking things slow, opting instead to push the tip of his tongue as far inside Ted as he can reach, finesse be damned. Ted makes a long, keening sound, pleasure racing up the length of his back. The sensation of Barney touching that little place that makes him tick is overwhelming and he feels close to vibrating out of his own skin.   
He is just about to beg Barney to speed up, or slow down, or something – anything – when Barney’s tongue disappears from inside him. Ted cries out in protest, but then Barney’s slender middle finger is placed gently against his lips, and Ted reluctantly falls quiet. His body feels taut as a bowstring.  
“Stay” Barney murmurs into his ear, “I’ll be right back”  
Then he disappears into the bedroom, taking the comforting warmth of his body with him, and Ted is left cold and a little embarrassed. He must look ridiculous standing there, bare, legs spread and leaning against the table. Ted has never been especially self-conscious, but in a position such as this, one where he is so blatantly on display, he can’t help being aware of any flaws to his physique that would otherwise seem inconsequential. The scar on his stomach, the beer belly, is there grey in his hair already? No, that last one doesn’t make any sense, he is 28, not 200. It’s just his anxieties, Barney doesn’t think that he is faulty, Barney thinks that he is -   
“Jesus, you’re stunning”

Ted’s eyelids drop shut and he sighs, the tension in his neck and shoulders uncoiling as Barney steps up behind him. He hears the stopper being removed from the small container of lube they keep in the bedroom – that was what Barney went to get – and soon feels cold and slippery fingers at the crack of his ass. Barney asks, his question a soft whisper in Ted’s ear, “this good?”  
“Yes” Ted gasps, “ _yes_ ”  
The stretch that follows his words is painful and heavenly both. Barney searches carefully for that small bundle of nerves inside Ted that has him begging in two seconds flat, and soon he does find it and –   
“Barney, shit –  give it to me, please” Ted pants, his hands curling tight against the surface of the table.   
“Don’t worry, Honey. You’ll have it. Just give it time, I think we’ll take it slow tonight”  
Ted gasps as a second finger slides in next to the one already embedded inside him, and he knows he sounds desperate, but he can’t help it,  “no, please”  
“please what?” Barney asks, voice calm, setting a leisured pace, his hand rocking gently against Ted. Then there is a third finger, and Barney starts scissoring them, opening Ted up even further, hitting his prostate with every few strokes.  
Ted bites into the flesh of his lower arm to keep himself from making too much noise. He is a sweaty mess, loose and warm, and Barney is still wearing all his clothes. The glasses, too.    
“Take me, fuck me” Ted pleads.  
Barney fingers are relentless and Ted is _close_ and it’s so wonderful, but he needs to come with Barney inside him, to be full of his seed, to have it pool messily on the floor as it runs down his thighs, sticky and white.

Barney stops and removes his fingers. Ted gets a moment’s respite as Barney unzips his pants and slathers slick onto his cock.  There is a soft hiss as the lube comes into contact with Barney’s skin, and then he says, words a bit strained, “you look good like this”  
He takes hold of Ted’s hips.   
“So, so pretty. You beg so pretty, too. I couldn’t wait for you to get home. Theodore, you’re doing good”  
Ted moans and scrambles for Barney with one hand, the other one still supporting his weight against the counter.   
Barney continues talking, while he slowly rocks against Ted’s backside, his slender hips fitting with his boyfriend’s perfectly, “Hmm. Theodore. You know, I like your name. I like that it’s for me alone. I’m the only one who calls you that, aren’t I?”  
Ted makes an unintelligible sound, and Barney squeezes his hand, repeating, “aren’t I?”  
“Yes, yes”  
“Yes what?” Barney demands.  
Ted bites his bottom lip hard, and whines “you are, no one else. Everyone calls me Ted. God, please fuck me now, please”  
And Barney does. He plunges inside Ted with no warning, his cock filling the other man to the brim, and this time Ted can’t help it – he cries out, loud. Barney starts thrusting into him, building to a steady rhythm, and says, one hand clutching at Ted’s arm, the other moving to encircle his throat in a loose grip. He says, “Shh, baby, you need to be quiet, or the neighbours will hear”. He gently strokes Ted’s neck, Ted’s Adam’s apple jumping erratically beneath his touch. “Open your mouth”

And Ted’s mouth falls open. At this moment Barney could ask anything of him, and he would do it. Anything to have Barney come inside him.  
Barney places two long fingers on Ted’s tongue, and this time Ted is prepared. He sucks, relishing the soft moan reaching his ear as he licks and moans frantically into the skin beneath his teeth.  
Barney says, voice low and soft as velvet, “I’m gonna fuck you harder now. You think you can handle that? You want that?”  
Ted whimpers and nods. Even if he could talk around Barney’s fingers, he wouldn’t be able to find the right words for exactly how much he wants this.  
Barney gives him what he wants. He always does, because he knows that Ted needs. He shoves into Ted _hard_ and relentless. Ted bites down on his fingers , but he can’t entirely prevent the noises from slipping out. He moans, broken half-sobs, and pushes back against Barney.   
There is a whispering in his ear, the sweetest of tales, their tale, “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you, you know that? Like this. When we met in the bar – “ he sucks in a harsh breath when Ted’s teeth close around his fingers a little too rough, “I wanted to fuck you over the counter. Just push you down and make you mine, make you scream my name. God, Theodore, Theo – “  
His hips stutter against Ted’s, pace faltering, and Ted knows that Barney is almost there.   
Barney growls, lips shaping words against Ted’s neck, wisps of his hair tickling the skin there, “I knew you must be amazing, and so hot, and why were you looking at someone else when you could be looking at me? If you’d known what I wanted to do to you; I would have been on my knees for you if you’d only asked, I wanted you so bad…”  
“Barney, fuck – “ Ted cries, only to have a third finger shoved into his mouth, pressing down onto his thumb, so that everything comes out jumbled.  
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you” Barney murmurs shakily, and there is just so much love in his voice, “I still can’t”

He drives into Ted one last time, and that’s what it takes. Ted comes for a second time that night, a raw scream ripping from between his lips at the intensity of his orgasm. He falls against the table, happy for it its’ sturdiness, and whimpers Barney’s name. He is shivering all over and when he looks down he sees that his come is dripping onto the floor, and it looks so filthy and erotic that a new moan tumbles from his abused mouth. Barney has removed his hand from his mouth; he needs it to hold onto Ted, so tight it nearly hurts. His forehead is nestled in the place where Ted’s shoulders meet his neck. He is moaning into Ted’s skin; it’s like the small noises are seeping into Ted’s pores, rattling around inside him, an electric current of so many wonderful things.   
“Barney, come for me”  
Barney comes with a groan, fingertips drilling into Ted. He lifts his head and kisses the nape of Ted’s neck, his heavy breathing ruffling the little dark curls at Ted’s hairline.  He then wraps his arms around Ted, holding him tight, their bodies pressed together.   
Ted smiles softly. He takes one of Barney’s hands in his and kisses the back of it, then entwines their fingers.   
“Wow”  
“Yeah”  
“You’re really fucking good at that”  
“Language, Teddy bear” Barney chides with a giggle, “but yeah. I’m really fucking good at that”  
“you know, modesty is a virtue” Ted says, turning around in Barney’s embrace and encircles Barney’s neck with his arms, gently massaging his shoulders with his fingertips.  
“That’s patience, buddy”  
“Oh. Yeah. Shower?”

Barney laughs, a clear, little sound, and tugs Ted closer against him. They kiss, perfectly slow and languid. He then steps back, leading Ted to the bathroom.   
Ted is already undressed – and very gross, to be honest – so he skips waiting for Barney to get naked and instead steps into the tub, groaning as the blessedly hot water splashes over him. Soon his boyfriend joins him, stepping close and pressing their lips together in a lazy, open-mouthed kiss.  
“Hey beautiful” Barney whispers, “I love you”  
“mmm” Ted says, “you too”  
They stand under the spray for a little while, soaking in the warmth of the water and their closeness. Then Barney breaks the silence, “I have a question”  
Ted groans into the other man’s shoulder, “I thought we had already established that I like when you call me… Well, you know what”  
“You-know-what? You’re not Voldemort. That wasn’t what I wanted to say, anyway” Barney takes Ted’s face between his hands are carefully tilts it so that they are looking into each other’s eyes. There is something sweet, something tender, in Barney’s eyes, and Ted’s heart skips a beat, maybe two. Something is happening.

“The thing is – “ Barney chews on his lips, looking nervous, and Ted presses a little kiss to his forehead to soothe him, “you said before that you’d clean my apartment”  
“Nooo, I thought you’d forgotten about that!” Ted whines.  
Barney’s lips tips up at the sides, and he swats at Ted’s arm, “Yeah, I’m still holding you to that. But that’s not what I wanted to say”  
His cheeks are flushed, but whether it is from embarrassment or the heat of the water Ted can’t say.  
“Barney, what is it?” he asks, because he is starting to worry. Barney isn’t usually this flustered.  
“How would you feel about it being not my apartment, but, you know, our apartment?”  
The world comes to a grinding halt as Ted tries to process what was just said. He feels faint, and then ridiculously happy, and then elated, which is a few step over ridiculously happy, he thinks. He is so caught by surprise that forgets to answer, however, and the expression on Barney’s face grows concerned.  
He says, incredibly soft, “Only if you want to, of course. I understand if you don’t want to. We haven’t been dating that long, and if you need your own space, that’s totally cool. I just thought – “  
“Barney” Ted interrupts him with a kiss, then two and three and four. He murmurs against Barney’s mouth, “I’d love to move in with you”  
“You would?”  
“Yeah. I don’t need my own space, not when I can have you” Ted says, and as soon as the words pass his lips he know that they are the truest thing he has ever said, “You’re all I need”

They clean themselves, kiss some more, then dry off. Barney sits down in the couch and Ted does too, nestling between Barney’s legs with his back against the blonde’s chest. Barney takes a deep breath, then sighs in relief. Ted reaches for the remote and turns on Barney’s crazy Japan TV. There is a movie on, the second _Lord of the Rings_ , and it started ten minutes ago, so they haven’t missed that much.  
“Wanna watch this?” he asks, and feels it when Barney nods.   
Barney kisses him on the top of his head, then says, “you’re still going to clean the apartment”  
Ted kicks at his leg, “no way”  
“You promised!”  
“Only because I wanted sex!s”  
Barney’s laughter is a low rumble in his chest, and Ted’s feel it against his back.   
They reach a settlement when Barney suggests, “we’ll clean the apartment together, and you do the dishes. Mine first, then “every dish in the damn country” if you have time later, okay?”  
“Deal, roomie”  
Barney’s delighted smile could power New York City all by itself. It is wide and bright and beautiful. And Ted gets to bask in it all the time. He can’t wait.


End file.
